But what if this wasn't so easy?
by HolbyCasualty1
Summary: Jac is keeping her Endrometrosis a Secret from Jonny, but when she rushes out of theatre Elliott questions her. When she tells Elliot whats going on he practically forces her to tell Jonny whats going on. When Jonny finds out what is his reaction be and want does it mean for the future... And when a face from Jac's past returns how will she react ?
1. Chapter 1

**Just an idea which has been floating round in my head for quite some time now, so I thought I would write it up and share it with you guys.**

**So yeah... hope you like it and I alway like to hear your comments. I do proof read but im generally not to good at checking my own work so excuse any mistakes.**

'We all want to find a person or have a child, we love so much we'd die for. Swap places with.'

But what if this wasn't so easy? What if you couldn't find that person? Or have that Child? What if you where incapable of loving someone enough to swap places with them. Die for them? Someone once told me 'Love just a chemical reaction. A combination of adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin. Its completely illogical.' Where they right? Was love just chemicals? Was it completely illogical?

These were the thoughts running through the head of the Hot-headed Cardiothorasic Consultant Surgeon Jac Naylor. What was the point in love when it was almost always certain to end in tears. Well that's how its always ended for Jac and that is when her thoughts briefly wandered back to Joesph.

"Oh Joesph! This is all your fault!" Jac muttered under her breath. Jac was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts by a sharp, quick knock on the office door, followed by the door swinging open and Jonny came running in. "Nurse Maconie don't you knock?" Jac snapped clearly annoyed he had to cheek to completely blank her and then just come swanning into her office.

"Sorry. Force of habit. Anyway there's any emergency in theatre Ollie has had to go home and Elliot is short staffed." Jac sighed, Assisting in theatre wasn't something she would usually pass the chance of but with her mental state as fragile as it was now she wasn't sure if she could face it.

"Fine I will be there in a minute." Jac replied reluctantly...

"Jac. Jac. What the hell was all that about?" Elliot shouted after her as she stormed out of theatre chasing after Jac as she headed toward the office. "Jac. What's wrong? This isn't like you?"

"I'm fine Elliot just leave it." Jac told him sinking into her chair and burying herself into the piles of paper work scattered on her unusually untidy desk.

"Jac your not fine. You have been distance these last few weeks, I know Tara's death was a shock to all of us but this started even before that. Come on Jac tell me whats wrong. I might be able to help" Elliot spoke placing a hand on Jac's shoulder.

"I have endrometrosis that's whats wrong. You cant help there is nothing anyone can do to help!" Jac shouted as another wave of pain hit her. She took a deep breath before continuing... I was diagnosed 5 weeks ago that's why I was off work those two days, not food poisoning." Jac told him. The tears welling up in her eyes as she spoke this was the first time since she had received her diagnosis she had actually said the words.

"Jac. I'm so sorry. Erm does... does erm?"

"Spit it out Elliot. You where going to ask if Jonny knows." Elliot nodded before Jac continued. "No. No I haven't told him. Not like it was even any of his business any."

"Jac. Doesn't he have a right to know. I mean this will affect him too." Elliot said going to sit next to Jac who had now exited her chair and sat in the large comfortable sofa on the other side of the room.

"It has nothing to do with him Elliot. Not anymore anyway." Jac replied her gaze focused on the floor in front of her almost as if she was hanging her head in shame. "We not together anymore Elliot. We have an argument. We both said things we shouldn't have. But he hit a nerve." Jac paused remembering those dreadful events.

What was that?

What was what?

Don't ever question me in theatre again?

Are you serious?

To bloody right I am!

Get over yourself.

Oh my god. You think that just because i said i might move in with you that now we're equal.

Oh no no no no because that would in insane wouldn't it

That's right. I save lives while you hold my coat. I earn 5x's your salary that is how equal we are

Brutally honest as ever

This is why you big plan is such a bad idea. Wallpaper samples and pushing buggies through the park

Who in there right mind would want to have a baby with you any way. If any product of your womb has a evens chance of being the Anti-Christ...

"Jac..." Elliot started but before he had chance to continue there was a knock on the door... Jonny opened the office door and stood awkwardly in the door way.

"I'll leave you to talk." Elliot said getting up and walking towards the door.

"Erm Professor Hope it was actually you I wanted to speak to" Jonny said sounding a little confused.

"I think you need to talk first Jonny. Can it wait?" Elliot asked

"Erm Okay yeah sure. See you in a bit then." Jonny replied as Elliott exited the room closing the door behind him.

**Next Chapter should be up within next few days depending on how fast I right and what my work load is. So until next time...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hiya sorry I took so long to update. I wasn't too sure whether or not I was going to continue but with the encouragement of people (they know who they are) I decided to carry on. Anyway sorry for the rambling. Enjoy and as always reviews are appreciated.**

"So..." Jonny started.

"What?!" Jac snapped back. She really didn't want to tell him but she knew he now knew there was something wrong and he wouldn't stop until he knew what it was. "Sorry. Carry on."

"So what does Elliot mean. He says we should talk. Talk about what Jac?"

"Jonny. I have something I need to tell you. Okay, but I need you to listen." Jac spoke her voice small and fragile, something Jonny had never experienced with Jac before.

"I'm listening Jac..." Jonny told her walking towards her and sitting down on the sofa next to her.

"I have Endrometrosis... that's why what you said hurt so much, that's why I hit you. I'm so sorry Jonny, ever since I did it I've regretted it, I regret it so much because I had everything, I had everything I ever wanted.. You.. and now I've lost it all. I lost it all because I couldn't face telling you.. I couldn't face telling you that I can't give you everything you want, I can't give you the family you want Jonny, I can't give you the perfect family picture."

Tear's where now falling freely from her eyes, she just couldn't stop. It felt like the past 3 years worth of tears she had been holding back had all been released at once. Jonny just sat there stunned into silence. He had never seen Jac like this before, she always seemed so together. So strong.

"Say something. Anything, please..." Jac whispered her voice weak. Like a child.

"Where did we go so wrong? Why did we end up like this, this isn't what I wanted. I didn't want us to be like this."

"I didn't exactly plan it either... Do you remember what you said to me the night I told you about Sean. Do you remember what you said before you knew. Up at the nurse station?" Jac asked. Her voice small and a little rough due to the tears which had now almost disappeared leaving small frequent hiccups in there place.

_Can we go out tonight?_

_Are you not exhausted._

_Well one drink and I'll be fine, and anyway you still owe me dinner._

_And you sit own me hot sex in the cupboard. Or any other place of your choosing._

_Just give me half an hour._

_Okay... You did a brilliant job today, Ms Naylor, I'm so proud of you._

"I remember. And you know what. I meant every single word of it. I really did." Jonny whispered shuffling slightly closer to her.

"And what about what you said after... after you knew about Sean. Did you mean that?" Jac asked looking at him properly for the first time since he had entered the room.

_That stuff you said this morning, about wanting to start again._

_Yeah I meant it, The past 24 hours have been crazy. And well I like a quiet life._

_Then there's something I need to tell you._

_Well that sounds ominous. Cant we not just wait?_

_No... I slept with Sean last night... Say something._

_What do you want me to say?_

_I don't know. That you hate me. That you can forgive me?_

_Why you tell me Jac?_

_Because I thought._

_You thought what? Oh good old Jonny will just roll over and say, don't worry about it, Sean's a good guy. Lets just try and forget about it. No harm done. Well I'm a soft touch, but I cant do that._

_But it meant nothing it just happened._

_It wouldn't just happen to me though would it? I want a just a normal life. All the normal boring things. I want a wife and a family. And I want a dog and roses over the door the whole shebang._

_I can do that._

_But you can't that's just it... your not capable because every time you get close to it you just push the detonate button and blow the whole thing sky high... I cant live like that._

The room fell silent. The atmosphere began tense and uneasy. These words brought the whole situation back to them.

"I was shocked. Angry. I just couldn't get my head around the fact, you chose to seek comfort with another man when you had me. Wasn't I enough Jac ?"

Jac sighed before staring "Jonny. You were too much. You're more than I ever deserve... Deserved. Your funny little ways, cheeky grins, your bubblegum toothpaste. I have never done anything to warrant that. I'm supposed to be alone. Its the path which has always been laid out for me. My future. Dark, Misty and Alone."

**Hopefully I will be quicker at updating next time but i'm back at school on Monday so that could change. Anyway hope that was okay. Until next time...**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi guys. This chapter kinda of shows my idea of what surrounds Jonnys past and the reason he is how he is. **

**Enjoy and as always reviews are appreciated**

"_My future. Dark Misty and Alone..."_

"You can change that path Jac. If you want it enough you can change anything. I did..."

"What do you mean?"

"I was destined for a life alone. A life nobody wants. I left home at 16 I've never been back since."

Before Jonny had a chance to continue Jac jumped in. "But what about when we went on that weekend away. You told Mo you where going to your auntie carols. And those awful crocs if your granny didn't buy them... It was you wasn't it. God Jonny Why ?"

"Guilty... but the point is Jac, I left home. I haven't had any family support for 20 years. I know its nothing compared to you. I cant imagine being totally on my own but I changed my life around. I changed the path set out for me, and what's to say you cant either.

"I just can't Jonny. I've had tried but it too hard." Jac whispered

"You can Jac. You really can. I know what your capable of. Come on I will help you, but you have to do what I say. No matter how silly or unnecessary it seems. Okay?"

"Okay. Okay I..." Jac suddenly stopped leaning over wincing slightly.

"Jac are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine just need to ride the pain out." Jac replied before wincing again but this time louder and more violently.

"Come on Jac. This isn't normal. You need to get yourself checked out."

"So Ms Naylor. The tablets you have been prescribed don't seem to be working. Can you think of any reasons why this could be. You are taking them aren't you?"

"I'm not putting hormones in my body everyday. So no im not taking them." Jac snapped back.

"Right then. Well... it might be a good idea if you did take them. Your condition is never going to improve if you don't." Mr T explained.

"But even if I do take them, my condition isn't just going to disappear is it. I'm not suddenly gonna be able to conceive a child if I take them am I?" Mr T shook his head slightly. " So I'm not taking them." Jac finished.

"Very well. Now I can you do a urine test. Just to check there isn't anything new with has cropped up causing the pain to become worse."

"Whatever. Just give it me so I can go." Jac snapped taking the bottle from his hand before walking out of the room.

"So how are you coping Nurse Maconie? I take it she's needed a lot of support."

"Well no actually she didn't tell me. We aren't actually together any more. I was just with her when the pain started so brought her up here. I've only actually known for 2 hours tops.

Before Mr T had a chance to respond Jac re-entered the room. Urine sample in hand.

"Thank you. I will get that sent to the lab and as soon as the results are in I will be in contact.

"Sure whatever." Jac replied "Come on Jonny we need to get back up to Darwin.

"Thank You. Today Jonny you have been amazing." Jac said as the pair stood in the lift heading back to Darwin.

"Who are you and what have you done with Jac Naylor?" Jonny laughed.

"Oh Shut up." Jac replied sarcastically.

"And she's back. Listen Jac, what I said earlier I meant it. I'm gonna help you. Together we are going to get you back on the road to happiness."

"Together as In friends or together, together?" Jac whispered.

"Jac..." Jonny started.

**Haha yes. I thought I would leave you on a cliffhanger. Now I have actually gotten into the swing of things the words just seem to be coming to me :) Hope this was okay. Keep reviewing.**

**Until next time...**


	4. Chapter 4

"_Jac..." Jonny started._

"Together together. If that's what you want." Jonny smiled putting his arm around her lower back pulling her slightly closer to him. " But we are going to do it properly this time. Okay? We aren't going to hide it. There will be no secrets. No lies, honesty will be the key. And you, You need to talk, don't keep everything bottle up okay. Talk to me."

"I will Jonny. I really will." Jac replied resting her head on his shoulder. Slowly the lift grinded to a halt.

"Ready to face the world?" Jonny asked offering her his hand.

"As ready as I can be." Jac replied accepting his offer. And exiting the lift onto the chaos which was Darwin under the control of Professor Hope.

Soon after Jac have returned to the ward it was back to controlled chaos. The rest of the shift past without a hitch, and surprisingly nobody seemed to notice the Consultant and Nurse where finally getting on again. As Jac and Jonny's shifts drew to a end and night began to fall, the atmosphere on the seemed different. Not a unfamiliar different just something Jac hadn't felt in a while. A sense of belonging. The first step on the road to happiness.

While Jac was waiting for Jonny to change from his scrubs she decided now would be a good time to sort through the piles of paperwork on her desk which had been multiplying ever since the diagnosis. Knowing how long Jonny took she knew she would have a good 30 minutes to crack on. Jac had only just started when the phone in the office started to ring. Reluctantly she picked it up thinking it would just be a quick give the details and go phone call.

"Jac Naylor."

"Aha Ms Naylor. Its Mr Thompson. Your urine results have come In from the lab. I think its best you come back to gyne so I can talk you through exactly what happens next."

"What do you mean? What happens next? It's gotten worse hasn't it?"

"No No nothing like that. I just think it will be better to explain to you face to face."

"Well I'm sorry but I'm busy so can you just tell me so I can get on with what im supposed to be doing thank you."

"Very well Ms Naylor. Your pregnant." Mr T announced.

Jac was temporally stunned to silence. She Jac Naylor, Super bitch with no maternal bone in her body was pregnant. But how, it wasn't possible. The path laid out for her _dark, misty and ALONE. It_ couldn't be right. They must have made a mistake.

"Right I see..." Jac replied after a moment.

" Well we will need to make you an appointment in the next few days, it discuss the possible complications. I would suggest you bring along the father as well these discussions aren't the easiest."

"Right okay." Jac told him before the line went dead.

Jac sat at her desk. The paperwork now the last thing on her mind. She looked down at her flat stomach. Was there really another human being growing inside of her. The concept felt alien. Jac was well out of her comfort zone here. She was good with babies. She had the ability to stop them from crying she had proved that other the years. But having a child of her own, someone who would relay on her for life.

Jac sat there for many minutes lost in her thoughts. When Jonny walked in. He headed straight over to her. As he approached he could see something in her eyes. Fear? Shock? Confused?

"Jac? Jac are you alright?" Jonny asked.

"Sorry. Erm Yes...No...Oh Jonny we have made such a mess of things."

"I don't follow Jac. What have we made a mess of?" Jonny asked confusement present in his voice. Surely she wasn't having second thoughts about staring again.

"It's to soon. We are too fragile for this. It will rip us apart..." Jac whispered clearly just saying her thoughts out loud not at all answering Jonny's previous question.

"What will rip us apart Jac?" Jonny was now well and truly confused at Jac's words.

"Do you remember the night Tara died? The night we spent together. The night you regarded as a mistake.

_He really shouldn't be here!"_

_"I dont know. At least he's working throught it."_

_"He buried his wife this morning!" _

_"Which means we're already a doctor down!" _

_"If you take a peek out from under the funeral pall. You'll notice that we still have a ward to run."_

_"Wow!" ._

_Your all heart you know that!"_

_"Just stating a fact." _

_"On the day that Tara died you were feeling so vulnerable..." _

_"I don't remember you kicking me out of bed." _

_"We made a mistake. That won't happen again." _

_"Well I'm glad we've clarfied things." _

"I'm remember Jac. But what has that got to do with ripping us apart?"

"That night we achieved the almost impossible. I'm pregnant Jonny." Jac whispered.

**Bit of a cliffhanger. I thought here would be a good place to leave it. The next chapter will be set 4 weeks after Jonny finds out she is pregnant. I wouldn't usually have this big of time gap but it is necessary to move the story one. As always hope it was okay.**

**Until next time...**


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